I Built a Stable Life. Then I Realised I Wanted to Build a Life That Felt Like Mine, Too.
Hi, I’m Lily — a single mum, writer and the woman behind Lily in Bloom.
I became a single mum during pregnancy, when the relationship I thought would become my family came to an end. The future I had imagined suddenly looked completely different, and I had to work out how to build a new one.
Like many women who unexpectedly find themselves raising a child alone, I focused on what needed to be done. There was a baby to raise, bills to pay and a life that somehow needed putting back together, so I concentrated on what was immediately in front of me and kept going.
Over the years, I built the stability I had desperately wanted when I first became a single mum. I raised my son, went to university and gained a BA Honours degree in English Language and Literature, trained as a teacher, built a career and bought a home. Along the way, I learned how to manage money, organise a household, create routines, make difficult decisions and balance work and motherhood largely on my own.
I’m incredibly grateful for the life I’ve built. There was a time when having a secure home, a career and enough stability to know that my son and I would be okay was exactly what I was working towards.
But as life became more settled, another question gradually started to surface:
What did I want for my own life now?
I’d spent years becoming very good at coping, carrying responsibility and doing what needed to be done. Eventually, I realised that creating stability wasn’t necessarily the end of rebuilding.
Surviving your life and consciously creating it aren’t quite the same thing.
From Surviving to Rebuilding
For a long time, success meant keeping everything going. I wanted my son to be okay, the mortgage and bills to be paid, my career to progress, the house to run and our future to feel secure.
Those things mattered enormously, and they still do. But when so much of your attention is focused on responsibility, it can become surprisingly easy to lose sight of the woman underneath it all — not just Mum, not just the person other people rely on, but you.
As my son became older and life changed, I found myself asking different questions. Who was I now? What did I actually want from the next part of my life? How could I look after myself while continuing to care for the people I love?
I began thinking about whether I could create more freedom in my work and finances, make more time for my health and wellbeing, travel, create, develop friendships and perhaps find love again. Most of all, I started wondering what my life could look like if I stopped concentrating solely on coping with it and became more intentional about creating it.
Those questions became the beginning of Lily in Bloom.
I’m Still Rebuilding Too
One of the most important things I want you to know about Lily in Bloom is that I’m not writing from the finish line. I haven’t created a perfectly balanced life, and I’m not here to pretend that I have a formula everybody else should follow.
I’m in my own rebuilding chapter. As my son becomes more independent, I’m thinking more deliberately about my wellbeing, work, confidence, financial and personal independence, relationships, home, creativity and the experiences I’d still like to have.
I’m also asking how I can create a life with more freedom, meaning and room to actually enjoy it. Some things I’ve figured out through experience; others I’m still working through.
I think there is value in sharing both.
Rebuilding rarely happens through one dramatic transformation. More often, it happens through hundreds of ordinary decisions that gradually change the direction of a life.
Why I Created Lily in Bloom
There is plenty of advice online about parenting, relationships and personal development. What I wanted to create was something for the woman trying to work on herself and her future while also raising children largely on her own.
Our circumstances matter. Advice that sounds wonderful in theory isn’t particularly useful if it requires time, money or support you simply don’t have.
You can’t always follow the perfect morning routine that begins at 5am. You might not be able to leave your job, spend hundreds of pounds on self-care or disappear on a retreat to rediscover yourself. Sometimes you’re exhausted, money is tight, somebody needs picking up just as you’ve finally sat down, and there isn’t another adult coming through the door at the end of the day to take over.
Advice for single mums needs to work inside real life.
That’s what I want Lily in Bloom to offer: practical ideas, honest conversations, useful resources and personal experiences, supported by good information and research where it matters. I want this to be a place that acknowledges the realities of single motherhood without assuming those realities have to define the limits of the rest of our lives.
Survive → Rebuild → Bloom
I’ve come to think about life after becoming a single mum in three broad stages. They aren’t rigid, and life doesn’t always move neatly forwards, but they help describe the journey I’ve experienced.
🌱 Survive
Sometimes the priority is simply making life manageable again. You may be dealing with heartbreak, financial pressure, exhaustion, loneliness or the practical reality of learning how to manage everything differently.
This stage is about finding your feet, creating stability, establishing routines, getting support and making everyday life feel more manageable.
🌿 Rebuild
As life becomes more stable, you may begin to have enough breathing room to think about yourself again. Questions about your confidence, identity, health, work, boundaries, friendships, finances, home and future start to matter in a different way.
Instead of only asking, How do I get through this?, another question begins to emerge:
How could I make my life better?
This is the chapter I’m in now.
🌸 Bloom
Bloom is everything we get to build beyond simply coping. It might include meaningful work, financial freedom, love, friendship, travel, creativity, better health, new experiences, rest, fun or simply having more choice over how you spend your time.
Your version of Bloom won’t necessarily look like mine — and that’s exactly the point. The goal isn’t to create somebody else’s version of a good life. It’s to discover and build your own.
What You’ll Find at Lily in Bloom
Everything I create ultimately comes back to one question:
How can we build good lives for ourselves while raising the children we love?
That means talking about emotional healing and moving forward, rebuilding confidence and identity, making everyday life simpler, looking after ourselves without burning out and becoming more financially and personally independent. It also means exploring work and career changes, relationships and dating, hobbies and friendships, our homes, health, creativity, travel and the things that make life feel fuller.
Some of what I write comes directly from my own experiences. Other pieces involve more research, and often the two come together: what I’ve experienced, what I’ve learned and what reliable information can add to the conversation.
Lily in Bloom isn’t intended to be a diary about my life. My experiences are the starting point for conversations and resources that I hope will help you with yours.
A Little About Me Beyond Motherhood
One of the ideas at the heart of Lily in Bloom is that we’re allowed to be people as well as parents, so it seems only right to tell you a little about the person behind the blog.
I love books and writing, beautiful homes, gardens and flowers, walking my dog, swimming, travelling, discovering new places and creating things. I’ve travelled around Europe in a campervan, and there are still plenty of places I’d love to see.
I enjoy ordinary things too: a good book, a cup of tea, getting outside, making my home feel cosy, becoming absorbed in a project and those little pockets of time when life feels peaceful.
Increasingly, I’m interested in a very simple question: what actually makes a good life?
Not an Instagram-perfect one. Not a life without difficulties or responsibilities. A real life that contains security and responsibility, but also connection, health, purpose, freedom, creativity and enjoyment.
And that, really, is what Lily in Bloom is about.
Your Life Matters Too
If you’ve spent years concentrating on everybody else’s needs, it can feel strange to start thinking seriously about your own. You might even wonder whether wanting more for yourself somehow conflicts with being a good mum.
I don’t believe those things are opposites.
You can love your children deeply while also wanting greater confidence, better health, meaningful work, financial security, friendship, love, adventure, creativity, rest — or simply more space to be yourself.
Our children also get to see us as human beings who continue to grow. They can see women learning, changing, making mistakes, developing interests, creating things, forming relationships and making thoughtful choices about their lives.
You don’t need to know exactly what your next chapter looks like. I’m still working mine out too.
But perhaps you can start with a question:
What would make my life feel more like mine again?
Then take one meaningful step towards it. Your life matters too. Build a life that’s yours, too.