I built a stable life. Then I realised I wanted to build a life that felt like mine, too.
Hi, I’m Lily — a single mum, writer and the woman behind Lily in Bloom.
I became a single mother during pregnancy, when the relationship I thought would become my family came to an end.
Suddenly, the future I had imagined looked completely different.
Like so many women in that position, I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart for very long. There was a baby to raise, bills to pay and a life to somehow put back together.
So that is what I did.
I got on with it.
I raised my son. I went to university and gained a BA Honours degree in English Language and Literature. I trained as a teacher, built a career, bought a home and learned how to manage money, routines, work and motherhood largely on my own.
Over the years, I created the stability I had desperately wanted when I first became a single mum.
And I am incredibly grateful for that.
But eventually I realised something else.
Surviving your life and consciously creating it aren’t quite the same thing.
From surviving to rebuilding
For a long time, success meant keeping everything going.
Making sure my son was okay. Going to work. Paying the mortgage and bills. Keeping the house running. Planning for the future. Being responsible.
And somewhere amongst all of that responsibility, it became very easy to lose sight of the woman underneath it.
Not just Mum.
Not just the person everybody relies on.
Me.
I began asking myself questions I think many single mothers eventually ask:
Who am I now?
What do I actually want from the next part of my life?
How do I take care of myself while still taking care of everyone else?
Can I create more freedom in my work and finances?
Can I have hobbies, adventures, friendships, love and dreams of my own again?
And perhaps the biggest question of all:
What would my life look like if I stopped simply coping with it and started consciously creating it?
Those questions became the beginning of Lily in Bloom.
Still rebuilding, still learning — and sharing what genuinely helps along the way.
I’m still rebuilding too
One of the most important things I want you to know about Lily in Bloom is that I’m not writing from the finish line.
I’m not going to pretend that I have created a perfectly balanced life and can now give everybody else the formula.
I’m in the rebuilding stage myself.
My son is becoming more independent, and for the first time in many years I’m beginning to think more seriously about what I want the next chapter of my life to look like.
I’m thinking about my wellbeing.
My work.
My confidence.
My financial and personal independence.
My relationships.
My home.
The things I want to experience.
The work I want to create.
And how I can build a life with more freedom, meaning and room to actually enjoy it.
Some things I’ve figured out.
Some I’m still figuring out.
And I think there is value in sharing both.
Because rebuilding a life doesn’t happen during one dramatic transformation.
It happens in hundreds of ordinary decisions.
Why I created Lily in Bloom
There is plenty of advice online about parenting.
There is plenty about divorce and relationships.
And there is an enormous amount of general personal-development advice.
But I wanted to create something specifically for the woman who happens to be doing all of this while raising children on her own.
Because our lives are different.
You can’t always follow the morning routine that starts at 5am.
You can’t necessarily quit your job tomorrow, book a three-month retreat or spend hundreds of pounds on self-care.
Sometimes you’re exhausted.
Sometimes money is tight.
Sometimes somebody needs picking up from school just as you’ve finally sat down.
And sometimes you simply don’t have another adult there to take over.
Advice for single mothers has to work inside real life.
That’s what I want Lily in Bloom to offer.
Practical ideas. Honest conversations. Useful resources. Personal experiences. And encouragement that doesn’t pretend changing your life is easy.
Survive → Rebuild → Bloom
Over the years, I’ve come to see life after becoming a single mother in three broad stages.
🌱 Survive
Sometimes the first goal is simply stability.
Getting through heartbreak. Managing money. Creating routines. Looking after your children. Resting. Finding support. Making everyday life feel manageable again.
🌿 Rebuild
Then, eventually, something begins to shift.
You start thinking about yourself again.
Your confidence. Your identity. Your health. Your work. Your boundaries. Your friendships. Your finances. Your home. Your future.
Instead of asking only:
How do I get through this?
you begin asking:
How could I make my life better?
This is the stage I’m in now.
🌸 Bloom
And then there is everything we get to build beyond survival.
Purpose.
Love.
Adventure.
Friendships.
Meaningful work.
Financial freedom.
Travel.
Creativity.
A home you love.
New experiences.
Rest.
Fun.
A life that feels like yours.
Your version of Bloom won’t necessarily look like mine.
That’s exactly the point.
The Self-Led Single Mum Method™
As Lily in Bloom has developed, I’ve started putting the things I’ve learned into a simple framework.
I call it the Self-Led Single Mum Method™.
Being self-led doesn’t mean doing everything alone.
It means recognising that, while we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can gradually begin taking responsibility for the direction we want our lives to move in.
The method has four parts:
S — Stabilise
Make what feels overwhelming more manageable.
E — Examine
Work out what you need, what matters to you and what you want your life to look like.
L — Lead
Take the next meaningful step in that direction.
F — Flourish
Create space for the things that make life richer — not simply easier.
You don’t have to transform everything at once.
In fact, I don’t think most of us can.
One meaningful change at a time is enough.
What you’ll find at Lily in Bloom
Everything I write ultimately comes back to one question:
How can we build good lives for ourselves while raising the children we love?
That includes emotional healing and moving forward, rebuilding confidence and identity, making everyday life simpler, looking after ourselves without burning out, becoming more financially and personally independent, changing careers or creating meaningful work, navigating dating and relationships, rediscovering hobbies and friendships, creating homes we enjoy living in, and making space for adventure, purpose and joy.
Some articles come directly from things I’ve experienced.
Others are thoroughly researched.
Often they’re a mixture of both.
But I will always try to make them useful.
Because Lily in Bloom isn’t intended to be a diary about my life.
My experiences are simply the starting point for conversations that might help you with yours.
A few things about me beyond motherhood
Because one of the ideas at the heart of Lily in Bloom is that we’re allowed to be people as well as parents, it seems only right that I tell you a little about the person behind the blog.
I love books and writing, beautiful homes, gardens and flowers, walking my dog, swimming, travelling, discovering new places and creating things.
I’ve travelled around Europe in a campervan, and I still have plenty of places I’d like to see.
I love the ordinary things too — a good book, a cup of tea, getting outside, making my home feel cosy, working on a project and those little moments when life feels peaceful.
I’m increasingly interested in the question of what makes a good life.
Not an Instagram-perfect one.
A real one.
And that is really what Lily in Bloom is about.
Your life matters too
If you’ve spent years concentrating on everybody else’s needs, it can feel strange to start thinking about your own.
It might even feel selfish.
I don’t believe it is.
Our children don’t need mothers who disappear completely into motherhood.
They need to see that women are allowed to grow, learn, change, make mistakes, create things, have relationships, pursue interests and build lives of their own.
You don’t have to know exactly what your next chapter looks like yet.
I’m still working mine out too.
But you can start asking the question.
What would make my life feel more like mine again?
And then take one meaningful step towards it.
Because your life matters too.